Become A Master Negotiator

Summary: Bringing up information unrelated to the negotiation issues.

Some counterparts specialize in inserting a tangent, or side issue, into a negotiation that has absolutely nothing to do with the negotiation being discussed.

Example

A manager is discussing with an employee the importance of coming to work on time. In the middle of the discussion, the employee protests, “Other employees come into work late, and you do not say anything to them.” This is an example of Launching a Tangent to deflect attention from the real issue: this employee’s continual tardiness.

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Summary: Repeatedly stating a position and refusing to look at options.

One of the most difficult negotiators to deal with is the unilateral thinker who can see only one possible outcome to a negotiation. This negotiator’s attitude is, “My way or the highway.”

Example

An airline passenger is irate because the first-class reservation she thought was confirmed for her flight is not in the airline’s system and no other first-class seats are available. To every option the reservations specialist suggests, the woman reiterates, “My reservation is in the system. You have to find my seat.”

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Summary: Actively listening to a counterpart and empathizing with his feelings.

A counterpart who feels you do not understand his feelings, needs, or goals may build up a defensive wall. Breaking through that wall could make the negotiation take two or three times as long—or you might not succeed in breaking through the wall at all. Sometimes you are better off letting go of the facts in a negotiation and focusing on the emotions behind the facts. A counterpart who believes you are really listening to his needs and goals and understand how he feels is more willing to cooperate with you.

Example

We were hired by a school district to resolve a dispute it was having with some parents. The dispute revolved around the fact that a group of deaf preschoolers was left unsupervised on a playground. The preschoolers’ parents were angry about the lack of supervision. They were especially angry because they felt that everyone who represented the school district was busy documenting facts to “play it safe,” and no one really cared about the parents’ concerns. We began to facilitate the negotiation by listening to the parents express their concerns for nearly two hours. Then our first words to them were, “We have small children, too, and we can understand why you are upset.” The parents responded, “We would not have made such a case out of this situation if someone had listened to us as you just did.”

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Summary: Asking a counterpart what he would do if the position were reversed.

If your counterpart asks for something that is totally unreasonable or does not make good business sense to you, a great question to ask is, “How would you justify agreeing to such a position If You Were in My Shoes?”

Example

Two companies were in serious talks regarding a merger. Company A wanted Company B to agree to the following deal point: If the news of the merger became public and another merger bid was generated from a third company, B would pay A $1 million if the original merger failed to happen. When the president of A proposed this deal point, the president of B asked this great question: “If You Were in My Shoes, how would you justify agreeing to that position?” What usually happens when this tactic is used is that the counterpart who is the target of the tactic has to pause and think how he would justify his position. In the example above, if the president of A paused for a long time or avoided the question altogether, the president of B could have pointed out, “I’m having the same challenge figuring out how this deal works for me.”

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Summary: Telling a counterpart to go ahead and act on a “threat” or “challenge” she has issued.

Once in a while, one party in a negotiation may say something outrageous in the belief that his counterpart does not have enough information to challenge him. The appropriate tactic in this situation is to simply call the first party’s bluff.

Example

A home seller tells a potential buyer, “We have already had an offer to buy this house at a price higher than yours.” The buyer calls the seller’s bluff, asking, “Why didn’t you sell your house to the buyer with the higher offer?” This is a great question, since it will probably help Uncover the Real Reason the home seller is still negotiating.

A second common example is a slight variation. A person buying a product might say, “I don’t even need your product.” Once again, the appropriate question is, “If you do not need my product, why are you even taking the time to talk with me?”

Counter

You do not need a counter to this tactic if you are negotiating honestly and providing full disclosure. In the event that a counterpart tries Calling Your Bluff with a good question, simply reply, “That’s a great question,” and give the honest reason why you are negotiating with him.

Have you used or encountered this tactic in your negotiations? If so, how’d it go?